I am starting a new series of posts called Things You Should Never Wear. I’m doing this because I see people on the street who look as though they’ve graduated with honors from the Regis Philbin/Helen Keller School of Dressing Oneself.
First up: Crocs. I can’t believe I even have to spell this out, but judging by the tourists who lazily traverse the corporate-filled blocks of my city, there are many people who do not get it. And “it” is this: You should never, ever wear plastic shoes of any sort. The same goes for foam shoes. “Oh, but they are so comfortable,” whine the Crocs folk. No. No, they are not. Any shoe that makes your feet sweat is not comfortable. Any shoe that makes my head spin due to its total fugliness is not comfortable for me, and that is reason alone that you should never wear Crocs.