how not to look like lindsay lohan

OLD!I received my office copy of In Style the other day, and all I could think was, “Gee, I didn’t know Rue McClanahan got hair extensions.” Then I realized that I was looking at Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan is a person who I wish I didn’t know of, but because I somehow do, I have to mention that homegirl looks ancient. Not in the “she looks a little older” way, but in the “she looks like a haggard homemaker who, now that the kids are in school for the day, spends most of her time smoking Merit Lights at Harrah’s casino” way.

I know there are countless stories about how to mimic Lindsay’s look, but I am here to tell you how to avoid looking like her. I’d say that I’m sure she’s a nice person and all, but I don’t think she is, so here you go:

1. Drinking and smoking = OLD.
When you are 20, you can drink all you want and smoke like Castro without looking haggard. And then, by the time you are 27, your face will start resembling that of the Grinch. The stinky thing about booze and cigs is that they age you, just not right away.

2. Sunscreen is your friend.
Especially if you have fair skin, you need to acquaint yourself with La Roche Posay SPF 60. It’s hard to find in the States, so you’ll probably have to import it at a hefty price. But it’s worth it. Look like Casper now or look like Nosferatu later.

There is no three. It’s just that simple.

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