sarah jessica parker’s bitten: pictures ahoy

Fashionista has the first pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker’s line (Bitten! how goth!) for Steve and Barry’s, which brings back collegiate memories of frat rats buying their three-for-$10 university sweatshop t-shirts. I’d like to say that I’d hoped that Bitten would be a great cheap-chic line, but really, I didn’t. A store known for selling athletic apparel isn’t exactly the best fit for fashion.

The line will be a good seller, I’m sure, because you’ll get university students and suburban types who will coo over Parker’s association with the brand. But it’s a blow to Parker’s branding. Sure, it’s great that she’s trying to make fashion inexpensive and accessible—you could argue that it means more when she does it than when, say, Proenza Schouler do it, because Parker is known for being stylish (as opposed to being a fashion house that’s written about in run-on sentences like this one here). But there’s no cachet to Steve and Barry’s, no cachet to the drab, seen-it-before shirts and CAMO PANTS in the line. It just looks like Old Navy’s clearance rack.

Old Navy would have been a better fit for Parker, actually. She fits their demographic well; she appeals to moms who want good value, and teenagers who want to look trendy on the cheap. It would have been a much better fit, and with many Old Navy locations blighting New York City, the photo ops would have been so much better. Imagine Bitten launching in Soho. Yeah, anyone who knows New York and its scene would roll her eyes, but if you weren’t keyed into that scene, you’d be all, “Wow, launching in Soho! High fashion!”

jovovich-hawk for mng/mango pictures

The main Jovovich-Hawk line is cute and cool in a vintage way, but the prices are unjustifiably high; I have two pieces and while they’re nice, they aren’t that nice. For $449, you should get more than a camisole—or at least you should get a camisole with Karl Lagerfeld’s sweat on it, you know?

So I am happy that Jovovich-Hawk’s cheapy collection will be at Mango in April. Obviously the quality won’t be as high as the main line, but really, the stuff is cute enough to sucker me into the snore zone of Mango. Here are teeny-tiny pics of the collection; I really want the last two pieces. What do you think?

My debut with award-winning actress Michelle Williams

THE SETTING
Immediately after the 3.1 Phillip Lim show ends

THE PLAYERS
The Fashionist
The Fashionist’s photographer
Michelle Williams, pretty actress

—-
THE FASHIONIST: Hi, Michelle.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: Oh, hi.
THE FASHIONIST: What did you think of the show?
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: I loved it. It was just so pretty.
THE FASHIONIST: I know. I want everything. I also wanted to say thanks for making Brokeback Mountain, because it really did a lot to help gay and straight people alike.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: Oh, thank you!

(THE FASHIONIST’S PHOTOGRAPHER approaches)

THE FASHIONIST: Michelle, this is [T.F.P.]. [T.F.P.], this is Michelle.
THE FASHIONIST’S PHOTOGRAPHER: Hi, Michelle.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: Hi.
THE FASHIONIST: We were just talking about Brokeback Mountain.
THE FASHIONIST’S PHOTOGRAPHER: Oh. (clearly not recognizing MW). That was a good movie.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS: (looks bummed that her role in this film is not recognized)

FIN!

Sienna Miller does not wear pants

…and yet, she was the toast of last night’s Rag and Bone show. Some celebrities will sneak in at the last minute, presumably because they:

A) do not care about punctuality
B) do not want to deal with dozens of people accosting them

Sienna, however, was in her front-row seat at least 20 minutes before the 6pm showtime, and as we all know, shows don’t start on time; so really, she was about 45 minutes early. So my guess is that homegirl either had major time to kill, or she wanted the attention of photographers. She got it, of course, but seeing it in action made me feel embarrassed for her.

The show? So-so. It had this newsboy-meets-Gangs of New York thing going on, which looked good but wasn’t terribly original. Whereas some other shows that day had wowed me with clever cuts and novel reference points, this one made me think, “Ah! Okay, they’re doing the masculine-tailoring thing.” Which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s also not the most exciting. For men, it didn’t come off as well. Leather jackets, wallet chains and tweed are not necessarily the best combination. “This looks like Eurotrash meets Oliver Twist,” my partner dryly commented. Touche!

nikki sixx, fashion icon?

Do you want this man dressing you?

If, like me, you do not, you will be disheartened by the launch of Royal Underground. I know it sounds like your high school boyfriend’s attempt to launch a Royal Trux/Velvets tribute band, but instead it is a clothing line designed by Mötley Crüe’s Nikki Sixx and the former CEO of St. John. Prices start at $100 for a made-overseas tee, because rockers and aging Paris Hilton lookalikes need your hard-earned money. No thanks.